


Stacked Deck of Short Stories

by Kineil_D_Wicks



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Short Stories, all in separate fics over on FFN, but now all together for your convenience, more to come - Freeform, they spell "Yugi" "Yuugi" and it really threw me off when tagging, will illustrate when I can
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kineil_D_Wicks/pseuds/Kineil_D_Wicks
Summary: Sometimes, one does not need a big sweeping tournament, or some world-threatening evil looming on the horizon.  Sometimes it's the small things, the good stuff, the characters interacting that one needs.Or rather: a collection of my Yu-Gi-Oh! short stories for your reading pleasure.





	1. The One Where Yami Learns About Toast

**Author's Note:**

> Finally starting to put my works on AO3 after several years of lurking--of course the first one has to be Yu-Gi-Oh!, and of course it has to be a crosspost from FanFiction.Net, and of course it has to be the first fic I ever did share. Good stuff. :D  
> And pretty sure you all know that I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, or the Calvin and Hobbes strip this little snippet is referencing. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on FanFiction.net on 9/7/13

                It had been weeks after Duelist Kingdom, and Yugi was adjusting to having a constant awareness of Yami.  One the one hand, it was nice to finally be able to talk to him on a regular basis; Yugi had grown to truly appreciate him, and it was good that they were finally able to communicate.

                On the other hand, Yami seemed woefully ignorant of most modern conveniences.  Give him a game, and within minutes he was its master.  Give him an appliance, and he looked at it like it would explode.

                Case in point….

                It was breakfast time early on a Thursday morning when Yugi decided to make himself some toast.  He had the toaster out on the island and plugged in, had turned around to get the loaf of bread, and when he turned back to the toaster, it was to see Yami there, floating ghostlike in the kitchen, examining the toaster.

                **_What is this device?_** Yami asked, staring at it with such intensity that Yugi thought the toaster would catch fire.

                “It’s called a toaster,” Yugi explained warily.  “It makes toast,” he continued, when Yami gave him a funny look.

                **_How does it work?_**

                Yugi was going to give a simple definition, but then a strange smile stole over his face, and he decided to have some fun with his friend.

                “Watch carefully,” he instructed.  “I put a slice of bread into the slot up here,” he did so.  “And I push down this tab. In a few minutes, toast pops out!”

                And it did, launching up with enough vigor to give Yugi’s description the due amount of respect it deserved.

                Yami gave it some thought, and then asked just what Yugi had hoped.

                **_Where does the bread go?_** he asked, peering cautiously into the slot.

                “Beats me!” Yugi exclaimed, having a good laugh at his friend.  “Isn’t that weird?”

                Yami pointed at the toaster.   ** _Show me again_** , he commanded.

                Yugi humored his friend, demonstrating the wonders of the toaster again and again.

                Until….

                Yugi’s mother walked into the kitchen to see if her son was still eating breakfast, just in time to see another slice of toast pop out of the toaster.

                “What are you _doing?_ ” she fairly exclaimed, causing Yugi to jump.  He looked at his mom, then the toast, then the toaster, then at Yami, and realized what this must look like.

                “Making toast,” Yugi finally answered, in a quiet voice.

                “You got that right!  And you’re going to eat all of it!”

                Yugi blanched.  “But there’s a dozen slices here!”

                “You should have thought about that before you made all of it!  Now eat it!”

                And she turned on her heel and marched off, muttering to herself about wasteful kids.

                Yugi gave the sizeable stack of toast a sour glare, then looked over at Yami, who was still watching with interest.

                “So,” Yugi said, finally.  “Do you want to see what you can have on toast?”

 

                About halfway through, Yugi had gotten sick of toast.  Fortunately, Yami was nice enough to take over and finish for him before the wrath of his mother could be incurred again.

                And that’s how Yugi decided he preferred cereal for breakfast, and how Yami decided that he liked toast.  As time went on, Yami learned more about various modern appliances, but Yugi never thought to correct him about the toaster.

                Until….

                One day Professor Arthur Hopkins visited Yugi’s grandfather.  Yugi and Yami eavesdropped, and Professor Hopkins mentioned that the museum needed some exhibits.

                A few moments later, Yami had run in with the toaster.

                “Here, take this!  It’s a mystical device that turns bread into toast!”

                Yugi wouldn’t have minded so much, except for the fact that his grandfather and Professor Hopkins thought it was him.

                He still hasn’t lived it down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting more later--mostly putting all my short stories and poems in their own collectives instead of scattered everywhere. Enjoy! :D  
> And I'm about 100% certain Yami's reaction to any modern appliances that have nothing to do with gaming is "What even is this?"


	2. The Use of Small Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts as a nice, calm day of card shopping changes quickly. Now, Yami and Yugi must duel an unexpected enemy. Rated T for squeamish moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fic crossposted from FanFiction.Net ^^  
> From the original description:  
> A/N: I had a dream...and in this dream I beheld...this story. (Pilgrim's Progress reference ;) ).
> 
> I normally get germs of story ideas from dreams (my subconscious is a weird thing), but it's rare to get a whole story from it. So, I made sure to write the whole thing down the next morning. :)
> 
> I don't usually write duels (I was always more interested in the characters) which is why it skips around a bit. Most of the (real) cards mentioned come from the Pharaoh's Servant booster (but there are three in here that are invented).
> 
> Kelsey is an original character that appears in just about every one of my stories in some form or another.
> 
> Anything else? Oh yes-if anyone can remember the name of that one leech monster, let me know.
> 
> "One more thing"--May or may not be for the squeamish (my subconscious is a weird thing).

The subject was bandied about on that sunny autumn day to find a card shop that wasn’t within the normal area.  So, armed with duel disks and pocket change, Yugi and his friends Joey, Tristan, Téa, and Kelsey ventured forth, with the addition of Rebecca Hawkins, as her grandfather was visiting Yugi’s grandfather.

In a short while, they had found a small shop in a suburban shopping area, complete with a small wooden-floor dueling ring.  It was a far cry from the glitz and glamour of Kaiba’s work, but that was fine with Yugi—he needed a break from all that.

The shopping area was one of those early tourist-traps, the ones designed to catch shoppers before they entered the city proper.  So, after they raided the card shop, Téa dragged Rebecca along with her to check out the other shops, with the excuse of “bonding.”  Yugi felt that maybe Téa just wanted to get Rebecca away from Yugi.  That was all right with him, too—he didn’t know _what_ had prompted all _that_.

He noticed Joey snickering.  “What?” Yugi asked.

“’Schmoopie,’” Joey explained, now laughing out loud.

Yugi scowled.  Kelsey nudged him.

“Hey, it’s better than ‘sweet baboo,’” she told him, also laughing.

He frowned and went back to his new cards.  He didn’t need the mental image of himself with a security blanket.

He flipped over a new card and was pleasantly surprised with the result.  “Hey!”

Kelsey looked over.  “Oh, a winged beast.  Want to trade?”

“Not on your life,” he said, examining the special effect.  “ _Illuminating Chick_.  It sounds cool.”

Joey glanced over.  “It looks weak.  Five hundred attack and one thousand defense?  Pretty average.”

Yugi felt Yami suddenly at his shoulder, examining the card.  Resisting the urge to turn and face his invisible friend, he simply adjusted his hold on the card.   _So what do you think?_ he asked mentally.

Yami made a pensive noise but said nothing.

Yugi rolled his eyes and reached for his deck.  _I know it’s not flashy or cool like some of our other monsters_ , he thought as he tucked the new card into the deck.  _But it still sounds useful._

**_I know,_ **Yami said simply, surprising Yugi.   ** _I daresay I understand the use of small monsters better than you do_**.

Yugi made a pensive noise and glanced at his friends.

“Hey Joey, want to trade?” Kelsey asked.  “I have a warrior here you might like.”

Joey checked her card, then his, then pulled one out.  “How about _Harpie’s Brother_?”

“I have that one.”

“Hey Yugi!”

Everyone looked over to see that Rebecca had returned.

“Hey, Rebecca,” Yugi said slowly.  “Where’s Téa?”

“Still shopping,” Rebecca said.  “But I couldn’t take it any longer.  Why don’t we duel, Yugi?  I want to try out my new cards.”

“All right,” Yugi said, nodding.  “Let’s do it.”

He held open the door for Rebecca and followed her to the duel ring.

Yami, meanwhile, was trailing behind, suddenly set on edge.  Something wasn’t right here….

That thought was confirmed when Kelsey turned to the others.  “Did Rebecca’s teddy look different to you?”

That was it.  It looked like the card Stuffed Animal, a yellow teddy bear with a big silver zipper.

Yami quickly drifted after Yugi.  This wasn’t going to end well.

**_Yugi, I don’t like this._ **

_Then don’t play,_ Yugi replied.   _If you don’t want to play against a little girl, that’s fine._

Yami bristled.  Since when was _that_ a deciding factor?

Yugi and Rebecca, meanwhile, had already started their duel.  Yugi played a spell card, then summoned Alpha the Magnet Warrior and destroyed Rebecca’s monster.  She played a monster in defense.

Yugi drew a card, looked at it, and grinned.  “I play Illuminating Chick in defense mode!”

A card appeared on the field.  Sitting atop it was a small black chick with a cotton puff of white feathers on its head.  A beak poked out comically, but no eyes were visible.  It rested on stick legs, hiding them from view.

Yami watched as Alpha destroyed Rebecca’s defense monster.  Yugi seemed to be doing all right….So why couldn’t he shake this feeling of unease?

He glanced at Yugi’s friends, watching through the fence.  Joey and Tristan were taking bets on who was going to win.  Kelsey still had that concerned look on her face.

“Okay then!” Rebecca announced, drawing a card.  “I play Mad Sword Beast in attack mode!  Mad Sword Beast, attack Alpha the Magnet Warrior!”

Yami watched as the savage sword-nosed monster charged Alpha.  It connected fiercely, causing Alpha to explode into bits.

Yami flinched, heard a dull _thunk_ behind him.  He turned—

To see a piece of Alpha sticking out of the wall.

He blanched.  That was why this didn’t feel right—this was a Shadow Game.

He turned back to the duel, to Rebecca announcing a spell card that enabled Mad Sword Beast to attack again.  Yugi wasn’t listening.  He had touched his hand to his cheek and pulled it back, showing blood from a thin cut.

Yami rushed forward.  This had gone on long enough.

 

Kelsey wanted to tell the boys to shut up.

Honestly, was she the only one to notice something was up?  It was something she couldn’t put her finger on, but something was wrong.

When Mad Sword Beast had connected, the boys went silent.  Pieces of shrapnel whizzed by.

“Wow,” Tristan said.  “Those holographs get realer every day.”

“Not _that_ real,” Joey said slowly.

Yugi was examining something red on his fingers, but when Rebecca commanded Mad Sword Beast to attack again, he looked up, alarm and disbelief fighting for control of his face.

Mad Sword Beast hit—

A blast of smoke filled the air, sending debris back towards Rebecca.

“What?  What happened?” Rebecca asked, stunned.  Kelsey could have asked the same question.

“Mirror Force, that’s what!”

The rebuttal came from a deep, resonant, cocky voice.  One in the vicinity of Yugi….

The dust cleared.

Not Yugi, but the other one.  Kelsey’s heart thrilled in her chest.  The duelist was now sharp-eyed, angular, and confident.  Yami.

Kelsey turned to Joey and Tristan with triumph on her face.

“You were betting on the outcome?” she asked.  “I bet every red cent I own that _he_ wins this game.”

 

Yami was rallying, examining the field, his hand, strategies that Yugi had already implemented….

_What happened?_ Yugi asked, still sounding dazed.

**_You took damage_** , Yami explained, drawing a magic card.  Not good.  He needed another monster.   ** _This is a Shadow Game, although I don’t know how._**

_Not Rebecca, surely?_

**_No. I’m willing to bet we’re dueling something else._ **

“I play two spell cards and end my turn!” Yami announced.

“Finally!” the Rebecca lookalike exclaimed.  She drew a card.

“I play the Draining Leech!” she announced.

A long, thin worm-creature appeared on the field.  Spikes surrounded its toothy sucker.

“This monster can attack any monster on your field and drain it of two hundred attack and defense points each turn!” she exclaimed excitedly.  “Say goodbye to your Chick!”

It lunged.  Yami couldn’t let that happen.

“I activate Redirection!” Yami declared, activating said spell.  “Your attack won’t hit _my_ monster!”

“Idiot!” She gloated.  “The only other thing it can attack now is you!”

Before Yami could react, the leech spun away from the Chick and dug into the left side of his neck.

Yami exclaimed in alarm and fell back, hand shooting up in shock. Too late—he could feel the slimy, muscular body and recoiled in revulsion; his stomach turned at the texture.

The Rebecca lookalike was jeering in exultation as he stood back up, left shoulder raised to try to ease the pressure.  Already he felt light-headed.

“Now _you_ lose two hundred life-points every turn!” she cheered.

Yami glanced down at his hand.  Nothing there that would help at the moment.

He drew a card.

 

Joey, Tristan and Kelsey watched in horror.

Yami was managing to deflect most of Rebecca’s attacks, but it was obvious he was slowly wearing down.

Joey flinched as Yami staggered.  There was no way.  Rebecca wasn’t Pegasus or Marik or any other of those weirdoes they had faced in the past.  What was going on here?

“Hey guys!”

They turned as one—

To see Téa standing with Rebecca.  The _real_ Rebecca.  They had shopping bags, Joey noted dryly.

“We had a nice long girl-talk,” Téa explained, sparing Rebecca a brief glare.  “ _Didn’t we,_ Rebecca?”

“Sure, sure,” Rebecca nodded, not listening.  She was looking around.  “Where’s Yugi?  I want to show him what I bought!”

“He’s dueling,” Kelsey said flatly.

Téa’s face instantly switched to worried; Joey knew she had seen enough weird stuff to know that tone of voice wasn’t good.

Rebecca didn’t.  “Who’s he dueling?” she asked.

Joey stood aside.  “You.”

 

Yami glanced down at his duel disk.  One hundred life-points left.  Not good.  He wouldn’t last another turn like this.

He glanced back up, the action making him dizzy.  The Rebecca lookalike was dancing around in glee.

“I end my turn!” she announced.  “And when I do, Draining Leech will take the rest of your life points!”

_The trap card!_

Yugi managed to remind Yami of what he had forgotten in his blood-drained state.  “I activate Gift of the Mystical Elf!” he announced, one hand on his knee.  “That’s three hundred points for my Illuminating Chick, and three hundred for your Leech.”

His life points went up six hundred and then down two.  Five hundred life points.  Okay.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said.  “I’ll still beat you next turn!”

Yami carefully put his other hand to his forehead.  He really didn’t think he could pick up any of his cards if he dropped them.  **_Think, Yami_** ….

…She had been sloppy…not like the real Rebecca, who even when she had danced with glee in her first duel against Yugi had kept her cards guarded…he had seen them, spotted a card that could help….

Illuminating Chick’s special ability.

Now all he needed was one more card.

_Heart of the cards, don’t fail us now_.  Yami didn’t know if it was him or Yugi who said it.

He drew.

He looked up from his new card.  “There won’t _be_ a next turn.”

“What?”

He pointed at Illuminating Chick, arm trembling from fatigue.  “I activate Illuminating Chick’s special ability.  At the cost of three hundred life points, it can activate any magic or trap card in your hand, so long as I declare it accurately.”

The Rebecca lookalike sagged in relief.  “Good luck with that.”

Yami smirked, his eyes narrowed.  “There’s more to it than luck,” he announced.  “You’re not a _real_ duelist.  A real duelist always guards their hands.  You were so certain of victory that you neglected that.  Now it’s going to cost you.”

He looked at his monster.  It looked back.

“Illuminating Chick!”

It stood at attention.

Yami closed his eyes, visualizing his opponent’s hand.  It had looked like Last Turn, but that wasn’t it….

He snapped his eyes open and pointed dramatically.  “Activate Final Struggle!”

Illuminating Chick’s cotton head began to glow with a warm light.  The corresponding card began to glow in his opponent’s hand.  She looked panicked.

“Final Struggle pits my monsters in my hand and field against your monsters in your hand and field,” Yami explained.

She looked up, terrified.  “But I don’t—”

“Have any monsters?  I know.”  Yami smirked.  “The only one you have available is this Leech—which, by the way, I’m glad to be rid of.”

The Leech retreated with a spurt of blood.  Yami gritted his teeth to keep from crying out.

“I have Illuminating Chick on my field,” Yami continued.  “But I also have the Dark Magician in my hand!”

He snapped the card down on his duel disk and Dark Magician sprang forth.  Now….

“I activate my face-down card, Megamorph.  If my life points are lower than yours, then the equipped monster’s attack is doubled.”  He smirked.  “I think they’re low enough, don’t you?”

Dark Magician’s attack shot from twenty-five hundred to five thousand.  More than enough.

The Rebecca lookalike was shaking badly now, her appearance blurred and sketchy and smoky.

Yami chuckled.  “Now how did I _know_ that you were something from the Shadow Realm?” he asked rhetorically.  “I don’t know how you got here, but you won’t live to see another day.  Dark Magician, _attack!”_

Dark Magician did so, his dark magic attack tearing up the wooden floor.  The lookalike shrieked as it vaporized, and the force of the attack knocked Yami—already weak on his feet—down flat on his back.

The sudden shift of height was too much.  He fainted.

 

Yami blearily regained consciousness.  In the blackness, he saw Dark Magician and Illuminating Chick standing over him.  The latter peeped in concern.

He gave a pained smirk.  “Hey,” he said weakly.

Dark Magician and Illuminating Chick beamed with affection and faded.

The real world blurred into view.

Where Illuminating Chick had been was an EMT, examining him closely.

“Here he comes,” he announced cheerily.  Yami noticed Yugi’s friends standing worried around him.  Yugi blinked back into consciousness.

“What happened?” Yami and Yugi asked.  Yami realized he was still in charge of Yugi’s body.

“You fainted,” Téa supplied.

Joey nodded.  “We called 911, which is this guy here.”

“Thanks,” the EMT said.  Then, to Yami: “When was the last time you ate?”

Yami blinked at him.  “What?”

“When did you eat last, and what did you eat?”

What stupid questions.  “Toast. For breakfast.”

The EMT nodded.  “See, that was your problem.”  He shifted back and let Yami sit back up.  “You kids,” the EMT said, indicating all of them.  “Got so caught up playing your little card games that you forgot to eat something sensible.  You don’t eat, your body gets weak. You get dizzy, and in some cases, it’s enough to make you faint. There you go.”  He packed up his supplies and stood up.  “I’ll give you a clean bill of health, so long as you eat something substantial in the next half-hour.”

“Sure,” Yami agreed.  When the EMT was gone, he stared deadpan at Yugi’s friends.

“What?” Kelsey asked.  “Was I supposed to tell him that you were attacked by a mystical leech?”

Yami glanced around.  The damage from the duel was gone.  Vanished with the end of the Shadow Game.  “I guess not,” he conceded finally.

“I’m so glad you’re all right!” Rebecca—the real Rebecca—exclaimed as she suddenly hugged him.

Yami froze.  Not good.

Téa looked close to blowing her top; the rest looked like they were about to die laughing.  Yami meanwhile…Yami, meanwhile, wasn’t too crazy about this little girl hugging him.  **_Yugi, a little help here?_**

And with that, Yami and Yugi were swapped, and it was Yugi sitting there in Rebecca’s embrace.   _Oh yeah, real mature_ , Yugi thought.  How was he going to get out of this?...

 

That night, Yugi laid his deck out on his desk.  There, taking pride of place, was the card that had won that day’s duel.

Yugi beamed at the little bird in the picture.  “It sure saved the day, didn’t it?”

**_Yes it did,_** Yami voiced.   ** _I told you I knew the importance of small monsters_**.

Yugi gave it some thought.  “Yeah, I suppose you could have just let it get destroyed, huh?”

**_I’m better than that._ **

“Yes you are,” Yugi agreed.  He gave his loyal cards one last look before turning the desk lamp off.  He crossed over to his coat hanger and hung the Millennium Puzzle on the hook facing his bed.  “Good night, Yami.”

**_Good night._ **

And with that, Yugi went to bed.

It could have been a trick of the moonlight, but Illuminating Chick glowed softly for a while after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive my poor duel-writing skills, I was always more into the characters than the duels.
> 
> Illuminating Chick, for those who might have guessed, is based on a Top Hat Hen--look up top hat chickens, they're cute. :D


	3. For Pity's Sake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder why Bakura never refers to anyone by name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First short story posted exclusively to AO3 instead of FFN.

He was a host.  A vessel.  A warm body to hook the Millennium Ring around.

There were times, simmering on the brink of consciousness in the Ring, when he heard the boy’s friends tell him to throw the Ring away—that the _thing_ inside didn’t care about him.  It couldn’t even call him anything _nice_ , for pity’s sake!

Pity’s sake.

Hi _lar_ ious.

It wasn’t pity for the boy.  Not from him.

It was pity for himself.

Oh, let’s all feel sorry for the Pharaoh!  He’s lost all his memories, and we have to get them back!

Let’s not feel sorry for the Thief King, who actually _remembers_ the past three thousand years!  The long stretches of only himself for company, of being traded back and forth like some common trinket, of the numerous hosts he had used—

That was why he never bothered with names anymore.   _You poor mortal fool_ summed up his entire relationship with the multitude of human encounters he had had.

Because _he_ was doomed to go on when his host died.

He had been around the necks of kings and peasants—of _Alexander the Great,_ for the sake of name-dropping—had scraped and whispered and manipulated, toeing the fine line between being thrown down a well for being haunted and being melted down for jewelry—and for what?

They all died.

And he would be alone once more.

As time wore on, he had turned his mind more and more to revenge, feeding it like a chick that would grow into a fiery phoenix.  _That_ wouldn’t die and leave him.

He hoped.

Perhaps that therapist his host had been forced to meet—and that he had sequentially ridded the world of—had a point: he needed a hobby.  A nice one, that had staying potential.

Duel Monsters didn’t count.  That was serious business.

But yes, he reflected, there was no point in learning this host’s name.  There was no point in learning any of their names.  And that poor sod of a Pharaoh would learn the same thing someday.

These poor mortal fools wouldn’t last.

And he’d be alone once more.

_For pity’s sake._

If they only knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read a few Bakura-centric fanfics and this occurred to me. From personal experience, there are only two reasons a person never refers to someone else by name: either they can’t remember names, or they can’t be bothered to remember names. I feel that Bakura might fall into the latter.


	4. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well I know where several are  
> If soul rooms get real bizarre  
> 'Cause I saved a few  
> And I keep them in a jar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by Owl City’s song “Fireflies”; I thought it’d be cute. :) How Yugi heard of the song is how I first heard of it—playing before the previews at a movie theater. This sort of story has probably been done before (like my toast one), but it’s good practice and character-building, I think.  
> Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi  
> “Fireflies” © 2009 Owl City

The second trip to the movies had gone so much more smoothly than the first, now that Yami understood that what was happening on the screen was _not_ happening in real life and had no bearing on their continued existence.

And thus, with a good experience at the movies behind him, Yugi was getting ready for bed, absentmindedly humming the song that had played before the previews.  It was a nice song—catchy.  He’d have to see about downloading it.

And then Yami, who had been silent for most of the evening, startled him.

**_What are fireflies?_ **

Yugi debated on giving a more flip response, but then recalled how that had gone when he had taught Yami about toast.  “Uh, they’re little bugs,” Yugi said, sitting down on his bed and thinking.  How did one explain fireflies to someone who had never seen them before?  He could picture them perfectly from memory—

Idea.

“How do those soul-room-things work?” Yugi asked, holding the Millennium Puzzle up.

He could barely see Yami in the light of his bedside lamp—the ghostly image tipped his head, considering.

**_Give me a moment._ **

Before Yugi could say _okay_ , he found himself in the hallway separating their soul rooms, falling flat on his behind—he had been transferred position and all.

“Ow,” he moaned.

“Sorry,” Yami noised, helping him up.  “Now why did you want to come here?”

“Uh, which room is mine?” Yugi asked, glancing about.  “Oh right—this one.”

He could practically feel the _you’re-such-an-idiot_ look Yami was giving him as he put his hand on the door handle—his door and Yami’s were so dissimilar that there really should have been no danger of confusing the two.

“Look, I’ve only been in here twice, okay?” Yugi said as he stepped into his soul room.  “And I don’t really know how to find what I’m looking for, to be honest.”

“What _are_ you looking for?” Yami asked, picking up a Rubik’s cube and examining it.

“A…a sort of memory….”

He trailed off, realizing that that had been a bit insensitive on his part—Yami didn’t have _any_ memories prior to Yugi solving the Puzzle.

“Uh—a jar,” Yugi said quickly, trying to gloss over the awkward moment.  “A glass jar about this big.  I’ll, uh, check over there.”

They spent a few minutes of silence rooting around the room—which gained odder implications the longer he thought about it.

“What happens if I tidy this room up?” Yugi asked.

Yami shrugged.  “I don’t know—you remember things better?”

“I should put my math book where I can find it,” Yugi mused, scratching his arm.  A tidier room made for easier recall, hmm?  Then how did one explain _Yami’s_ room?  He had seen a book once of M.C. Escher’s works—it kind of reminded Yugi of Yami’s room.  Of course, so did the stairwells at Hogwarts.

“Hey, I thought I lost this!” Yugi declared, holding up a game cartridge.  “I almost had this game beat too—where’s my Gameboy?” he asked, looking around.

“You _do_ realize that’s just your memory of it, right?” Yami asked.

Yugi’s crestfallen look morphed to irritation at Yami’s laugh.  “Fine then,” he groused.  “I’ll put it…right here—maybe I’ll remember where it is in real life better now.”

Yami made one of those _tch_ noises he was fond of and resumed looking.

“Found it!” Yugi declared, holding a jar up.  “Now come on—let’s go to your room.”

“Why _my_ room?” Yami asked, following him as he dashed out.

“You’ve got better lighting.”

“I have _no_ lighting,” Yami declared.

True, Yami’s room was shrouded in darkness made pitch by Yugi’s well-lit room.

“You should invest in some Japanese lanterns,” Yugi suggested, holding the now-glowing jar close to his chest as he wandered to the middle of the foyer-esque clearing in front of the door.

“That would ruin the atmosphere,” Yami responded, sounding slightly miffed from his location in the dimness.  He stepped forward so his irritated look was visible.  “So what are we doing?”

“This,” Yugi said, unscrewing the lid.

One by one, then two by two, then three by three—until a steady stream of fireflies drifted from the jar and spread throughout the simulated night of Yami’s room.

Yugi couldn’t help but grin—the tiny bugs were doing a perfect job of illuminating Yami’s expression of wonder.

“They come every summer,” Yugi explained, sitting cross-legged on the cold stone floor.  Yami slowly followed suit; Yugi placed the jar between them.  “I guess these all are my memories of them.”

Yami didn’t answer, so Yugi let the conversation rest, enjoying the friendly silence as he watched the flashing bugs float about.

“How are we going to get them back in the jar?” Yami asked suddenly.

Yugi blinked.  “Well, that’s part of the fun of fireflies,” he explained.  “You have to catch them to get them in the jar.”

“We can’t possibly catch them all.”

“We don’t need to.”  Upon spotting Yami’s expression, he elaborated.  “I told you—you can have _my_ memories.  This is for you.”

Yami blinked, resumed watching the fireflies dance in the ether.

Yugi couldn’t help but match the slow smile that spread across Yami’s face.

Yami stood up suddenly.

“What are we waiting for then?” he asked.  “Come on—show me how to catch these things.”

Yugi was grinning as he jumped up.

“First thing’s first,” Yugi explained, heading for the nearest one.  “Catch them _gently_ ….”

 

Hannah Moutou stuck her head in her son’s room, then crossed over to his bed.

He was laying there sleeping, holding the Puzzle with one hand, smiling softly.

She smiled as she tucked him in and turned his lamp off, then bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

“Sweet dreams, Yugi,” she said quietly.

She glanced down at the Puzzle as she stood up.

Yugi’s odd behavior had started shortly after he solved that thing—and now recently, he was acting like he had an imaginary friend.  It made absolutely no sense, especially considering he had plenty of real ones.  Were he awake, she wouldn’t entertain the notion.

But with him sleeping that peacefully, something prompted her to do so.

She tapped the Puzzle as she left.

“Sweet dreams to you too, Yami.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little boggled at the notes in my document for this--I wrote it up with the intent of posting it for my two-year anniversary over at FFN. That was about five years ago, and I didn't post it. Oops. ^^; Ah well, here it is now. :)


	5. How to Lose to Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step 1: somehow con Kaiba into wearing the Millennium Puzzle for a day. Step 2: have Yami troll Kaiba for the better half of said day. Step 3: have Yami challenge Kaiba to a duel. Step 4: beg Mokuba for the security tape before Kaiba destroys it….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring references to _Shrek, YGO Abridged, Wizard of Oz, The Incredibles_ and other assorted sundries. :D

**_So what are we doing tomorrow?_ **

“I don’t know,” Yugi muttered into his pillow.  “I was trying to get some sleep _now_.”

**_Tough,_** Yami sounded.   ** _I’m not tired.  Come on, tomorrow’s Saturday—there’s got to be something we can do.  That doesn’t involve having to save the world.  Again._**

“I’m beginning to worry that Kaiba has a point, and that’s your official hobby.”

**_It’s not a hobby._ **

“Well, it can’t be a job—we don’t get paid for it.”

**_I stand by the comment that Mr. Incredible guy said on that show we watched—‘Sometimes I wish the world would just stay saved.’_ **

Yugi finally rolled onto his back, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t about to get any sleep in the near future.  “Well, we could ask Kaiba nicely if he’d like to try out his brand-new sure-to-beat-us strategy and duel us.”

**_An action that would take the better part of two hours._ **

“I don’t think it’d take _that_ long to wheedle him into it.”

**_I’m talking about the duel._ **

“Ouch,” Yugi muttered, trying hard not to roll his eyes.  “Just admit it, you’re bored.”

**_Fine, I’m bored.  Say, you could go on a date with Téa tomorrow—I could kibitz!_ **

“Or we could send _you_ on the date.”

**_Which reminds me, I need to get you back for doing that to me._ **

“That was _how_ many years ago?”

**_I’ve been busy with world-saving.  And grandpa-saving.  And other assorted sundries.  Maybe if we asked Kaiba nicely he’d make us another death-trap theme park._ **

“Or you could ask Bakura nicely to put on the Millennium Ring, and then you and the Spirit of the Ring can have at it.”

**_I’m not that desperate._ **

“You’re wanting Kaiba to build another theme park to kill us.  Please recall that he’s gotten past that stage, and that would take months for him to do anyway.”

**_I need better things to do, methinks,_** Yami observed.  **_Things that do not require me to be in your body to do._**

“You could clean your soul room up,” Yugi suggested.

**_With what, brain bleach?_ **

“That _is_ an interesting mental image,” Yugi said, rolling over to go back to sleep.

And then he sat bolt upright, an epiphany striking him.

“Yami,” he declared.  “I’ve just thought of something you can do tomorrow.”

 

“You want to do _what?”_   Kaiba asked flatly.

“I’m just proposing a different sort of game—well, not a game, more of a bet,” Yugi amended, hands up.

They were currently in Kaiba’s office, at about nine-thirty in the morning—because Yugi had argued that Kaiba probably wasn’t up at eight o’ clock on a Saturday.  Now, facing Seto Kaiba sitting behind his desk and looking at Yugi with a combination of _why are you wasting my time_ and _have you absolutely lost it,_ Yugi wondered if Kaiba had even gone to bed last night.

“Look: the only reason you’re here is because Mokuba said you wanted to play a game,” Kaiba said.  “Naturally, I translated that as Duel Monsters, since that’s the only game that matters.  Get to that point before I throw you out on your hair.”

“Actually, being thrown out on my hair probably wouldn’t hurt.”  Considering he had enough that it’d cushion his head.

“It will if I throw you out that window.”

Considering Kaiba’s office was on the top floor of a thirty-some story building….“Okay, so it’s more of a wager.  You win, we do a duel monsters game and you can use the super-awesome special Moutou-busting strategy you’ve been working on for the past few weeks now.”

A muscle above Kaiba’s eye twitched.  “And what makes you think I’ve been doing that?  I _do_ have a job, you realize.”

“Because you’ve been basically maintaining radio silence and have been extra-dismissive of Joey as of late.  Past history suggests you’ve got something new planned, some new strategy or duel disk version eighty-point-oh….”

“For your information, it’s version four-point-oh,” Kaiba corrected.  “All right, fine, what’s your wager?”

Yugi smiled.  “I propose a simple trade: my Millennium Puzzle for one of your Blue-Eyes.”

“No.”

“You know, I _could_ have asked for the jet.”

“Still no.”

“Why not?”

“I am _not_ trading _my card_ for a piece of overblown jewelry.”

**_Overblown?_**   Yami asked, sounding offended.

“Kaiba, let me finish,” Yugi said.  “You wear my Puzzle until—oh, say, eight tonight—no cheating and not wearing it, by the way.  I take one of your Blue-Eyes, mostly for leverage.”

“And what makes you say that?” Kaiba asked.

“Because I don’t quite trust you to not do something mean-spirited like smash my Puzzle.  Anything like _that_ happens, and I’ll be using the Blue-Eyes for a drink coaster.”

Again, that muscle twitch.  “You wouldn’t dare.  Not after all that ‘heart of the cards’ nonsense you’re always spouting.”

“Try me.”

Kaiba crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.  “I’m still waiting for that part where your visit is supposed to have a _point_.”

“It’s kind of a game.  Eight tonight is the target time—if you can hold out longer, that’s fine.  But if you break down and call _before_ that, then…I don’t know.  Winner gets to decide.”  And if Yugi won, he wanted a ride in the Blue-Eyes jet.

**_I shall try my best then,_** Yami said, sounding like he had a broad grin plastered on his face.

“Still waiting for that point,” Kaiba said.

“You’ve never _said_ it, but I bet you think my Puzzle is like some sort of security blanket or good-luck charm,” Yugi pointed out.  “And _you_ can’t stand for someone else to have a Blue-Eyes—or should I bring up what you did to my grandfather?”

“Sure—you missed yesterday.”

Yugi was pretty sure he didn’t bring it up _that_ often.  “So!  Call it a game of wills, if you will.  Whoever breaks first has to do the other person a favor.  If we both make it to the target time, then I give you that duel you want with no whining at all.  Deal?”

Kaiba considered this.

“I want a _little_ whining,” he said finally.  “I factor that into my calculations, and I don’t want them thrown off.”

“I guess it’s a deal then.”

“Fine.  Let’s do it,” Kaiba sighed, levering himself out of his chair; he fished a key out of his pocket, crossed over to a wall, slid a panel to the side, typed in a code, did a retinal scan and fingerprint scan, before _finally_ pulling out a metal case and bringing it over to the table.

Yugi wondered if his current expression properly expressed the depths of his bafflement.  “You know, I just keep my cards in a box.”

“That’s the difference between you and me,” Kaiba said, working a combination lock before finally unlocking the case, which opened with a hermetically sealed hiss.  It was enough to make Yugi think that maybe Kaiba _did_ believe in the heart of the cards, even if he didn’t want to admit it.  Or maybe he was just paranoid.

**_Maybe both,_** Yami suggested.

Right.  Although it was pretty fun to watch Kaiba close his eyes for the longest time before selecting a card and handing it over to Yugi.

“All right,” Kaiba hissed.  “Now let’s make this trade before I change my mind.”

“Right.”  _Do your worst, Yami,_ Yugi advised as he lifted the Millennium Puzzle over his head.

**_With pleasure_ ,** Yami responded as Yugi handed the Puzzle over.

And then the exchange was complete.

Yugi watched carefully as Kaiba put the Millennium Puzzle on, and Kaiba watched carefully as Yugi put the Blue-Eyes in his deck case.

“Okay,” Yugi said.  “Remember: the Puzzle stays on your person all day.  No breaking it, no dismantling it, no throwing it out the window just to be a jerk.  I’ll be asking Mokuba for the tape—”

“It’s digital,” Kaiba interrupted.

“Whatever.  I’ll be asking to see the footage, and if you cheat in any way—loop it or delete it or anything like that—then the deal’s off, I’ll assume you did something, and Blue-Eyes will be keeping coffee stains off my desk.  Are we clear?”

“I’m still certain you wouldn’t do that.”

“And I’m certain you wouldn’t risk it.”  Yugi was halfway to the door before a better idea occurred to him.  “Or hey!  I could give the card to Joey!  I’m sure he’d think of a hundred different things to do with it!  Later Kaiba!”

Yugi tried not to smirk _too_ much at Kaiba’s horror-struck face.  He also tried to resist skipping to the elevator, managing to keep it to maybe a bounce every third step.  Heehee, this would be _great_ ….

He met Mokuba at the elevator.

“Hi, Mokuba,” he greeted.  “Nice tie.”

“Thanks!” Mokuba chirped, straightening said tie.  “I was wondering if it was too much.  I’m trying to give off a businessman air.”

“You’re like a mini-Seto,” Yugi assured him.

“Good,” Mokuba said as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.  “I figure if I start now, I’ll have plenty of practice for later when I’m taller.”

“Getting taller _is_ a noble goal,” Yugi agreed as they stepped into the elevator.

“Yeah.  Hey, where’s your Puzzle thing?” Mokuba asked, pointing to Yugi’s chest.  “I thought you never took that thing off.”

“I don’t sleep with it.”

“I mean after you wake up.”

“It’s with Seto right now—I traded it for one of his Blue-Eyes.”

“ _What?”_ Mokuba asked, looking appalled.  “Seto would _never_ trade one of his Blue-Eyes!”

“It’s not permanent,” Yugi assured him.  “And it’s kind of a wager-thing going.  Whoever breaks before eight and demands their precious item back loses.  And he has to wear the Puzzle all day—which reminds me, I’ll be wanting to see the security tape to make sure he did.”

“It’s digital.”

“That’s what _he_ said.  Do you think he’d let me ride in the jet if I win?”

“Not hardly.  What does Seto get if he wins?”

“To test his new awesome strategy on me, which he’d get if he makes it to eight anyway.”

“Oh, you know about that.”

“It’s kind of obvious,” Yugi said, humming pensively.  “Say, Mokuba—can I borrow your cell phone?”

“Nah—I need it,” Mokuba said, as the elevator stopped at the twenty-fourth floor.  “But I’ll call the front desk for you and they’ll let you use _that_ phone.”

“All right.  Thanks Mokuba, see you later!”

“Bye, Yugi!” Mokuba said, waving back at him as he set a quick pace down the hall.

Yugi smiled as he leaned back against the elevator wall, humming along with the elevator muzak.  Not some soft thing, but something that sounded like rock and tech music mixed together.  Very Kaiba-esque.

He was still smiling as he crossed over to the front desk, a sentiment returned by the lady operating it.

“Hello, you must be Yugi!” she greeted.

“I am indeed,” Yugi said happily.  “Say, can I make a call real quick?”

 

Téa was busy working on her homework when the phone rang.

She briefly wondered who it was before answering, figuring it was better than homework and there weren’t any good cartoons on anymore anyways.  “Hello?”

“ _Hey, Téa!  It’s Yugi.”_

“Oh, hey Yugi!” Téa greeted, smiling.  “What’s up?”

_“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the arcade or something today.  Or the mall.  Or the movie theater—I hear there’s this great new movie out. ‘Dark Side of Dimensions’ or something like that.”_

“Wow, this is different,” Téa observed.  “You’re not setting me up with the Pharaoh again, are you?”

_“Nope!  Just you and me and no Pharaoh-funny-business.”_

_Pharaoh-funny-business_ was a new one to her.  “All right, I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes.  Where am I meeting you?”

_“I’m at the KaibaCorp building right now, so I guess the mall is closer—meet you there?”_

“Sure, but— _KaibaCorp?”_

_“Yeah, just a thing.  I’ll tell you when you get here.”_

“All right then….”

 

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“Hello to you too,” Yugi greeted, getting off the bench—which was when Téa noted the discrepancy.

“What happened to the Millennium Puzzle?” Téa asked, pointing.

“With Kaiba—”

“With _Kaiba?”_

“In exchange for one of his Blue-Eyes, and it’s only temporary.”

“Just— _why?”_

“Entertainment.”

“I need a bit more of an explanation than that.”

“You know how Kaiba is, and how down-to-earth he is for a guy who obsesses over dragons.  Now give him the day alone with Yami.”

Téa considered this.

“You…are absolutely terrible,” she decided finally.

Yugi shrugged.  “Yeah, well, my only excuse is that I was sleep-deprived.  Now about that movie….”

 

Yami couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow as Kaiba wrote—immediately after Yugi left— _clean Blue-Eyes card upon return_ down on his to-do list.  Oh dear.  Maybe Yugi was right about the paranoia thing.  Or maybe Kaiba was a germaphobe.  Either way.

Yami was currently a resting miasma in the Millennium Puzzle, mostly aware of what was going on around him.  The effect wasn’t as strong as when Yugi was wearing the Puzzle—of course, since he solved it—but he could still basically see what was right in front of the Puzzle and Kaiba’s general posture and attitude.

Now, to—as Yugi styled it—do his worst.

Yami gave him about a half-hour before starting.

**_Seto Kaiba,_** Yami intoned, in his best spooky voice.  **_This is your conscience speaking.  We haven’t talked for a while, how’ve you been?_**

Kaiba sort of half-quirked an eyebrow, not looking up from what he was writing.

“Wow,” he noised finally.  “I was expecting something like this, honestly.  Let me guess: there’s a hidden microphone in the puzzle through which you and your nerd friends plan to screw with me.”

**_You know, something that’s been bothering me a while—technically, you’re a nerd._ **

“I am not.”

**_You’re a computer genius who spends all day working on tech and playing card games._ **

“And I run a multi-million dollar business.”

**_This is true.  And that means you’re not just a nerd—you’re the king of nerds!  Should I kneel?_ **

“If you’re my conscience, then you should already know the answer to that question.  Now shut up and let me work, you stupid gaggle of idiots.”

**_Stupid gaggle of idiots—you should use that one next time you meet them._ **

“Don’t make me remove that microphone.”

**_Ah ah ah—remember, no dismantling the Puzzle.  You dismantle the Puzzle, and Yugi uses Blue-Eyes as a drink coaster._ **

“Please—that lame-brain would _never_ think of doing _that_.”

**_What about his little threat to give it to Joey?_ **

Now _that_ —made Kaiba pause.  “It won’t matter, because I’m not breaking down and calling him.  He doesn’t even have a cell phone!”

**_Yes, and with that new Pokémon game on the phones too…._ **

“And now I know you’re just the dweebs trolling me— _my_ conscience would be focused on _card games.”_

**_How would you know?  We haven’t talked in a while—my interests could have diverged at some point._ **

“That explains why I tossed you.”

**_Yes…and by the way, I noticed you haven’t referred to Yugi and company as ‘nerds’ in a while._ **

“Okay, I’m going to start triangulating your position and sending a drone after you.”

**_Is it Blue-Eyes shaped?_ **

“What do you think?”

**_I think you need to branch out.  Now about that Pokémon Go game…._ **

_“No._   And besides, Nintendo hasn’t made a good Pokémon game in _years.”_

**_I don’t know, I heard X/Y was pretty good._ **

“And then they trashed it with ORAS and _Sun/Moon_.  Now see, if you were my conscience, you would know this, because I had to listen to Mokuba complain about it, and there is _no way_ you could possibly bury yourself deep enough to avoid _that_.”

**_Maybe you should invest in better earplugs._ **

“If I were to block out anybody, it would be _you_ dweebs.”

**_I’m sure.  Question—there isn’t a rolling list of ways to mess with Joey, is there?_ **

“For there to be such a list, Wheeler would have to be on my radar to begin with.”

**_Okay, next question— is there such a list?_ **

“Shouldn’t _you_ know?”

**_There’s one for Yugi, isn’t there.  Yugi’s the only one outside of immediate family and corporate that you regularly bother with.  Even if it is only extended to ‘I challenge you to a duel!’  You really need a better hobby than challenging a midget to children’s card games.  _**Which probably wasn’t fair, seeing as how Yugi would be getting a growth spurt _eventually_ —at least, Yami _hoped_ so.

“Okay, _now_ you’re starting to sound like my conscience.”

**_How would you know?  We haven’t talked in a while._ **

“Because _spiky-haired midget_ is one of my less-flattering assignments to Yugi Moutou.”

**_One of?  What are the others?_ **

“The usual assortment of _dweeb_ and _nerd_ , for starters… _hobbit_ when I’m feeling up to literary references….”

**_‘Munchkin.’_ **

“Eh?”

**_Think about it—just picture Yugi singing ‘Lollipop Guild’ for a moment._ **

Kaiba was quiet for a long beat.

“Okay, I cannot unsee that,” he said finally.  “And I now have a pressing need to accelerate this triangulation program.”

**_Yes…I suppose Joey would make a good Toto, seeing as you always call him a mutt…Tristan as the Scarecrow, maybe?  Or…Joey could be the Scarecrow and Tristan could be the Tin Man and…hmm, who do we know that would make a good Cowardly Lion?_ **

“I was under the impression that my conscience was supposed to be more serious than this.”

**_You think I’m something?  You should meet your inner child._ **

“Please no.”

**_‘Hello! I’m you inner child!  I think card games are the best and that Yugi looks super-special-awesome in a tutu!’_ **

Ha ha! Kaiba buried his face in his hands and took a long, _long_ moment of rocking back and forth minutely as he marshalled his self-control.

“I.  Am trying.  To.  _Work,”_ Kaiba managed finally.

**_Is that what this is?_ **

“I will track you people down and blow you off the face of the earth.”

**_Right.  Because the cutting-edge tracker is doing such a marvelous job._ **

Kaiba looked at the screen—which pinged with _no results_.

**_Oh-ho-ho—no results.  That means I’m not a nerd herd, I’m really just a voice inside your head.  Horrifying, isn’t it?_ **

“Look, firstly, I don’t believe you’re some mental voice of mine.  Second, _shut up and let me work in peace.”_

**_Oh, but I am—and here you are, chatting along with me.  Isn’t this something?  And you are going to need a whole lot of serious therapy—just look at that eye twitching._ **

Indeed, Kaiba’s eye was developing a tic.

“All right, that’s enough,” Kaiba said, grabbing the Puzzle.

**_Now hold it, you’re going to forfeit?  And risk losing Blue-Eyes?  The card you love more than breathing?  Wait.  Quick pop quiz—Mokuba and a Blue-Eyes card are about to fall into some lava.  You only have time to save one, which is it?_ **

The eye tic was getting pronounced.  “I save both,” Kaiba said. “Because I am just.  That.  Awesome.  Now either _shut up,_ or I risk Blue-Eyes being temporarily touched by Joey Wheeler.”

**_Temporarily?  You think you could get it back from Joey?_ **

“Bet it in a duel, and the rest I could do in my sleep.”

**_Refresh my memory—didn’t Joey beat you the last time you two dueled?_ **

“ _Someone_ can’t remember past events well.”

Ouch.  Even if Kaiba wasn’t aware of it, _ouch_.

**_Okay then, back to your unhealthy fixation on beating Yugi.  Isn’t being richer and more influential than he could ever hope to be enough?_ **

“You know, for someone who claims to be living in my head, you don’t know me very well.”

**_Do you even know yourself?_ **

“I know I’m sick of this conversation.”

**_Touché.  Well, how about this for a distraction then—how about we play a game?_ **

“Do what?”

**_Isn’t this a thing you do?  Solve your problems by challenging them to children’s card games?  Although we could branch out—I haven’t played chess in years._ **

“And I would do this _why?”_

**_Didn’t you say that the only challenging opponent you ever face is yourself?  Come on, it’ll be fun._ **

“Hmph.”

**_And if you win, I’ll shut up._ **

Kaiba considered this, tapping his fingers together.

“All right, fine,” he said, snapping his laptop shut.

 

Meanwhile, in Yugi’s deck box….

_“Got any threes?”_

_“Go fish.”_

_“This is idiotic!”_   Blue-Eyes yelled, flinging the cards away. _“I am a Blue-Eyes White Dragon!  We clash in battle almost every other week!  Why have we reduced ourselves to playing idiotic card games designed for children!?”_

_“Because after the first hour we agreed that blasting away at each other got old,”_   the Dark Magician sighed. _“Although I suppose we could ask the same question about our owners.”_

Okay, fine, Blue-Eyes wasn’t looking forward to having a deck-full of monsters attacking him again, and the last statement was a fair enough point.   _“Fine then. But can’t we do something other than Go Fish?”_

_“The others aren’t good at Canasta or Pinochle, and as we’ve found out, Kuriboh is a verifiable shark when it comes to poker.”_

The furball in question _krr_ ed menacingly.

_“Are card games our only option?”_   Blue-Eyes asked, eyeing the Kuriboh out of the corner of his eye.

_“I don’t know, playing something else feels akin to sacrilege or something like that.”_

_“I won’t tell if you won’t.”_

The Dark Magician considered this.  _“All right, fine—let me find my bag of tricks and we’ll see what we can do.”_

_“Dominoes, if you can find them.”_

_“Appropriately ironic.  I’ll start looking.”_

 

After a full day of goofing off and hanging out and generally having a remarkably Yami-free time, Yugi arrived at KaibaCorp at eight-fifteen and headed straight for the elevator.

He bumped into Mokuba on Kaiba’s floor.

“Oh hey, Mokuba!” Yugi greeted.  “Listen, this’ll sound random, but can I see the security tape for today?  It’s part of mine and Kaiba’s bet.”

“Uh, yeah,” Mokuba said, sounding a bit more than distracted.  “Uh, listen, can you come…just look.”

And with that, Mokuba led him to Kaiba’s office, motioned for him to stand to the side of the door, and then opened the door a crack.

Yugi was treated to about an inch-wide view of Kaiba standing at a table and having a full-blown argument with no one.

“You _can’t_ just summon a field-full of monsters in one turn!” Kaiba was ranting.  “And what do you mean, _screw the rules, I have money?  That’s MY line, you ungracious, freeloading, mental hiccup!”_

“He’s been like this all day,” Mokuba said in an undertone.  “Ever since you left him with that Puzzle of yours.”

“I see,” Yugi said.  “I think I’ll come back later.”

“What?  No!  You can’t leave me with this!”

It took Mokuba until nine-thirty before Yugi relented and went into Kaiba’s office—by this time, the noise within had stopped completely, and he was treated upon opening the door to the sight of Kaiba standing behind his desk, looking _far_ beyond fuming, arms tightly crossed and the Puzzle on the desk before him.

“Well, I saw the tape with Mokuba,” Yugi began.

“It’s digital,” Kaiba hissed.

“Right.  And I’m guessing you finally looked at the clock and realized it was after eight.”

Kaiba’s glower deepened, prompting Yugi to nod once.

“Right,” he said, fishing Blue-Eyes out of his deck box and handing it over.  “Well, since you won the bet—”

Kaiba snatched Blue-Eyes out of Yugi’s hand so fast that it left a paper cut behind—Yugi barely had time to react before Kaiba was looming over him, anger exerting such pressure that it made Yugi wonder if he still had Yami.

“I want you,” Kaiba hissed.  “To take _that_ —” point at the Millennium Puzzle.  “As far away from here as possible before I _launch it into space.”_

_Card games in space,_ Yugi thought inanely, but decided that the best course of action would be to keep quiet and simply pick up his Millennium Puzzle.

**_Did you miss me?_**   Yami asked immediately.

_I’ll answer that when Kaiba isn’t glaring a hole through me,_ Yugi responded, putting the Millennium Puzzle on and skittering around a still fuming Kaiba—it was a wonder he wasn’t setting the smoke alarms off.

**_Yes, well—pointing out that since I was his ‘conscience’ he was technically losing to himself probably wasn’t the best of ideas._ **

_Do what?_

**_Oh yes—and then my personal favorite—before you leave, sing ‘Lollipop Guild’ from The Wizard of Oz._ **

Okay, that had to be one of Yami’s weirder requests, and not one Yugi was inclined to oblige, seeing as how Kaiba still looked fit to kill.

**_Humor me, please._ **

Yugi waited until he was at the door and could slam it in Kaiba’s face if he charged before obliging.

Yami’s laughter, in Yugi’s opinion, was entirely justified upon seeing Kaiba’s expression—somewhere between dumbstruck and horrified.  Yugi actually went to his knees about halfway to the elevator, due to the fact that he was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

“Okay,” Yugi gasped, wiping a tear from his eye when he recovered.  “That was great.”

**_It was,_** Yami said, sounding so smug and self-satisfied that Yugi really should have seen his next comment coming from a mile off.

**_Can we do it again next week?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame a combination of ARCatSK’s doodles on DeviantArt and watching _Yu-Gi-Oh! The Darkside of Dimensions_ on the same day. That movie could probably be retitled The Kaiba Movie, but I am not complaining. Anyway, enjoy. :)


End file.
